


When people say it’s the thought that counts, it’s not an excuse to be a cheapskate

by Writing_in_SIN



Category: Gintama
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Bottom Hijikata Toshirou, Car Sex, Christmas Eve, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Smut, Dadtoki, F/M, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Gen, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oblivious Hijikata, Ponykata, Ponytail Hijikata Toushirou, Post-Canon, Top Gintoki, Trust, idiots to lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:02:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28194399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writing_in_SIN/pseuds/Writing_in_SIN
Summary: Gintoki’s faced many challenges in his life, but trying to tell an oblivious Mayora that not only he’s in love with the bastard but wants to have the whole ass forever kind of relationship with him too might be his biggest one yet.Gin-san can really use a Christmas miracle right now....Or better yet, make a deal with his fellow Sadist to get things done.
Relationships: Hijikata Toshirou/Sakata Gintoki, Kagura/Okita Sougo
Comments: 54
Kudos: 200
Collections: Gintama Mini Secret Santa 2020





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [prediabetic_stick](https://archiveofourown.org/users/prediabetic_stick/gifts).



> Happy Holidays, everyone!
> 
> It's not much but I would like to present this gift to prediabetic_stick! Happy Holidays, fellow fan!
> 
> It's been a lot of fun to write this fic. I think I'm quite lucky to be paired with you since most of the prompts that you've listed are something that I managed to incorporate into the fic one way or another. However, I apologise if the fic or how I used your requested prompts aren't what you were hoping for. Still, I can only hope you'll like this humble fic of mine.
> 
> This is only the 1st part out of 4 so I hope you and the rest of the readers will enjoy this fic and have a good read.
> 
> Okay, enough of my rambling! Please enjoy and if it's not too much trouble, do tell me your thoughts!

* * *

Tis the season to be jolly, _falalala~!_

……. 

Yeah, he's not feeling it.

Okay, so it's December and even though things have been a nightmare in the real world because of the virus and everything, the Gintama world has entered a new era of peace and prosperity.

No, it's not a scam.

Honest!

Don't believe, Gin-san? Fine! Then let's have a quick recap on what's been going on since the manga ended, shall we?

Ahem, so!

While we're all waiting for the final Gintama movie and subsequent semi-final (don't cry, dammit), things have been pretty busy here after the whole final battle of Shounen-level Epicness at the Terminal and...subsequent goodbye to Shouyou-sensei. For starters, Edo and its people have been hard at work in rebuilding and recovering as they enter the new era.

Since he's shit when it comes to politics, he'll just leave that to Zura when he's not on standby as one of Soyo-hime's advisors.

Yeah, he's still trying to process that too.

Anyways, long story, short: Soyo-hime's the first Prime Minister of Japan with the Oniwaban backing her. Nobume, Matsudaira and Kondou are reforming and leading the police like usual. Zura's into politics alongside Takasugi and Oboro (yeah, they're alive, since Shouyou-sensei made sure of that) when they're not busy at the rebuilt Shouka with the Kiheitai. And of course, Yoshiwara and Kabuki-cho are in its normal hustle and bustle with a dash of chaos.

And as for the Yorozuya?

Believe it or not, Yorozuya Gin-chan's been swamped with job requests in fixing up Kabuki-cho and even other parts of the city. In fact, Gin-san doesn't even have the time to use any of the scarce payment he has left after renovations and the years worth of rent for pachinko either! _That's_ how busy they've all been.

(Not that he’s all that interested in pachinko anymore, to be honest. Not after two years of abstinence from his vices while he was travelling). 

It's not a bad thing though, being busy.

If anything, it allows him to see all the changes Edo has undergone in his absence with his own eyes along with being a part of the community again as they all work together to not only rebuild Edo _(again)_ but to also welcome the new era. And well, he's mature enough to admit that he's actually happy with all of the work since he gets to spend more time with Shinpachi, Kagura and Sadaharu. It's still a punch to the gut though, seeing all the growing up his kids went through in the two years he was gone.

They fall back into their familiar routine well enough though, seamlessly readjusting themselves back into each other's lives but feeling the subtle changes of time too. 

Shinpachi’s always been mature but in his absence, the kid has only grown stronger and now carries himself with a sort of confidence that he once lacked and it showed in the way he walks and fights. He’s still the resident human wearing glasses tsukkomi though, thank fuck.

...oh, and still a cherry boy too. Can’t forget about that important fact either.

And then there’s Kagura. Still a snotty brat with a blackhole for a stomach but has grown into her looks which is such a _pain_ because now he’s gotta keep an eye out for creeps even though he’s well aware that Kagura can easily rip them apart with her bare hands if she wants to.

It’s the dad in him, okay? So sue him-- wait, no. He’s only got 300 yen right now so please don’t sue poor old Gin-san, yeah?

Ahem.

And as for Gin-san himself? Well...he can’t say that he’s the same either. Two years on his own and with Chibi-sensei later on has done him some good. Gintoki thinks that he’s learned to better care for himself and ever since the manga ended, the kids and the rest of his loved ones have made it some sort of life mission of theirs to ensure Gin-san knows that he’s loved and that his needs and wishes are just as important as anyone else’s...which, y’know, means a lot to him.

Crap, he’s getting teary eyed and they’ve barely begun with this fanfiction too.

…

So!

That’s why, even though he barely has much time to kick back and relax, it’s not all that bad because he gets to familiarise himself with his home again with everyone he loves and why, throughout all of the rebuilding and reforming Edo in this year and a half since the final battle at the Terminal, Gin-san can't really find himself to complain.

If he does have something to complain about though, it would _definitely_ be about the stupid Mayora.

Why, you ask?

It’s on the smutty side but in summary, after years of dancing around each other and months of build up since they reunited in the boonies, him and Hijikata finally resolved their unbridled UST that’s been brewing between them since around the Shinsengumi Crisis arc, maybe? It’s hard to pinpoint to be honest.

And get this, they did it on the exact same rooftop where they first dueled all those years ago. Kinky, right?

Damn, that was one _hell_ of a first time. 

Now the thing is, considering their busy schedules because of the rebuilding and reforming shit, they don’t get the chance to see each other as much as they woulda like, and while Gin-san can keep little Gin-chan in his pants well enough, it ain’t easy not to meet with the person he wants to see most.

And that’s the crux of his complaint. 

If things were just simply physical between them, he wouldn’t be this annoyed. Oh no, no, no. What’s gotten him in a pinch is simply this:

Gin-san has caught the _feels._

Yup, you got it right. Good ol’ Gin-san is in love with the resident Mayora since maybe early on in the Farewell Shinsengumi arc and he’s got no damn clue on how to go about it.

And hell, he’s fucking _tried._

The thing is, while Gin-san’s been in love before (see Ketsuno Ana), he’s never experienced the whole ‘being in love with your partner to the point where you want said partner’s stupid mug to be the first and last thing you see for the rest of your life’ kind of thing. And it’s just his protagonist's luck that it has to be with the _oblivious_ Mayora of all people. 

Which, of course, doesn’t help that Hijikata always seems like he’s holding himself back even though it’s so fucking obvious how eager and happy he is whenever they get to meet amidst their busy schedules.

And speaking of busy schedules, it’s to the point that every time he gets to meet up with Hijikata, it’s to the sight of the already too sexy for his own good chainsmoker with his hair getting longer each time they meet. Now usually, he’d make a joke that Hijikata’s packed schedule is practically dictating even his grooming routine but Gin-san rather not have it be the cause for Hijikata to cut his hair short again because holy shit, Hijikata with long hair is drop dead _gorgeous._

...oh, and it’s pretty fun to play with long hair during sex, _especially_ since it’s a good way to coax _very_ delicious sounds from the reserved Mayora. Heh.

Anyways, he has a point here.

Like all precious things, it’s not how big or grand it is. It’s how at peace it can make us feel and Gintoki has experienced that when he woke up with his arms around Hijikata as the bastard slumbers on against him with his face tucked into Gintoki’s neck. It’d been another fun night like any other but it was one of the rare times where he woke up first. Usually, it’s the other way around with Hijikata already showered and dressed in just his shirt and pants as he reads a report on his phone beside him while waiting for Gintoki to wake up.

Gintoki won’t admit it aloud but his chest always grows warm in seeing how Hijikata never leaves in the morning despite the fact that the Vice-chief has an earlier schedule than he does. 

(Gin-san should know after all. He woke up at the ass-crack of dawn because of Hijikata’s internal clock when they switched souls.)

But there in the quiet hotel room, Gintoki woke up to the sight of soft morning light spilling from the curtains framing usually stern, scowling features onto the man that’s more Toushirou than the infamous Demon Vice-commander that only _he_ gets to see. 

That’d been the first strike.

Once they had their shower and checked out of the love hotel, they’d been about to go their separate ways until his kids and dog rounded at the corner. Unsurprisingly, the tsundere stuttered and blushed at the sight of familiar faces after one of their rendezvous but instead of marching away with an excuse, Hijikata stayed and spent a bit of his time to catch up with the kids despite how it can make him late for his patrols.

Strike two.

 _Finally,_ while the kids were joking around, Hijikata had caught his eye above Kagura’s head and gave a fond roll of those feisty blues to the kids with a smile that was soft at the edges.

Gintoki remembers how he’d been hit with such fierce _longing_ at that particular moment, wanting more than anything for the five of them to be back at the Yorozuya in a setting of an everyday morning routine of _home_ instead of there in the middle of the streets.

Strike three, and he’s out! A fucking home-run as his brain finally caught on what his soul’s been trying to tell him for years. 

He doesn’t just want Hijikata for the rest of their chaotic lives, he wants forever with the stupid bastard.

…

… 

...Told ya that Gin-san caught the feels. 

Okay, back to the point he’s trying to make here. After that morning, Gin-san decides to bring up the charm up to eleven and woo his bastard of a chainsmoker to sweep him off of his feet.

Yeah, easier said than done.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t work as well as he thought, even though Gin-san has brought every shounen and even shoujo trope onto the table. Because every time he brings out the charm to the unsuspecting officer, Hijikata always has this confused look on his face. Hell, he’s desperate enough that he even went to Shachi of all people to ask for all of the shoujo references he can think of just to be sure but--! 

NONE. OF. THEM. ARE. _WORKING!_

Case in point? 

"Uh...what are you doing, Hijikata-kun?" he asks at a secluded lake by the park.

\-- is the fact that Hijikata currently has a hand against his forehead while Gintoki’s standing in a pristine white three piece suit, holding a bouquet of roses. All of which he borrowed from the host club, of course.

"Checking if you have a fever," Hijikata mutters while his other hand is pressed to his own forehead. It causes those v-bangs to spike up a bit and really, that sight shouldn’t be this adorable.

He blinks, eyes settling back into his typical dead-fish eyes. "Why?"

"Because you've been acting weird, even by your standards." Pulling his hand back, Hijikata crosses his arms with a scowl even as his ears take on a bright red hue. "You've always been a straightforward bastard so if you wanted to have s-sex you can just say so."

Okay, that is **_it!_**

In love or not, he’s gonna sock this bastard to next week because the idiot’s driving him fucking _crazy_ at this point!

"You don't get it at all!" Taking Hijikata by the lapels of his Shinsengumi issued winter coat, Gintoki shakes the dumbass for all that he’s worth. "How can you not get it!?"

"The hell is that supposed to mean, permhead!?" Hijikata grabs his wrists as they get into each other’s space like they always do whenever they bicker. "I just said--"

"And I'm tellin' ya that's not the point!"

Hijikata blinks, confused and lost. "Wait, so ya _don't_ wanna have s-sex?"

"Of course I do! You're so stupidly sexy that there's not a time that I don't wanna fuck you silly!" he practically screams, throwing his hands up in exasperation as rose petals flutter around them from his actions.

Hijikata stomps his foot with a scowl, biting his cigarette in half. "Then what's the problem!?"

"You are!" Pointing an accusing finger to the dumbass, Gintoki frowns as he then points to himself. "I am!" Frustrated, he buries his hands into his hair with a groan. _"We_ are!"

Tugging sharply at his ear, Hijikata brings him up to scream at his face. "Which one is it, asshole!?"

"I don't know, dumbass!" he screams back, giving Hijikata’s cheek a sharp pull.

In the end, they _do_ have sex in the park which, of course, is mindblowingly great but now he’s right back to square one.

_Wonderful._

"You look dead-er than usual, Danna."

Blinking out of his maudlin thoughts of unsuccessful romantic attempts, Gintoki looks down at his side to where his plate of dango _should_ be, only to find it missing. With an unimpressed frown, his eyes slide to the perpetrator, narrowing just the slightest bit. 

"And you'll be dead for real if you don't give me back my dango, Sofa-kun," he drawls out, palms bracing behind him on the bench in front of the wagashi shop he frequents.

Even if Okita _is_ his friend and fellow Sadist, he doesn't have enough sugar in his system for the brat's schemes right now.

"It's Sougo," Okita corrects, sitting down beside him and nonchalantly taking out a bite from his dango. "You're going at it all wrong with Hijikata-san, Danna."

He must really be on a sugar withdrawal if he’s even considering what Okita would say about his lack of progress or even ignoring how Okita knows he and Hijikata have been sleeping together. But at this point, Gintoki’s willing to give it a shot. He’s got nothing to lose after all...okay well, maybe except for his dignity but honestly? He can’t really bring himself to care since he’s pretty much humiliated himself in all possible ways ever since Gintama began so what the hell, right?

"You know what, I'll bite." Brow twitching at his loss of sugar, Gintoki swings his bokuto at the brat’s head. "How am I wrong, Souji-kun?"

"It's Sougo." The brat has the gall to dodge but at least puts the plate of dango back to where it rightfully belongs at Gintoki’s side. "When it comes to Hijikata-san, you need to be direct."

Gintoki throws his hands up, indignant. "That's what I've been trying to _do!"_

"What you've been doing is _wooing_ him, Danna. For better or for worse, the bastard is too used to that because of his looks," Okita corrects, shrugging. "He's used to people propositioning him and only sees him as a trophy." 

He twitches at that, annoyed at all the faceless people who’d dare turn their lust filled eyes to that stupid gorgeous bastard. His fingers tighten around his bokuto as his vision swims with blood. 

Weird. He’s feeling a bit murderous today.

"You have no idea the many constipated faces he's made or how many corpses he almost collected because of that," Okita continues, a knowing glint in his maroon eyes as the brat smirks at him. "Which is a pity since he would have done me quite a favour if he had killed at least one Bakufu official and got himself executed."

"So...what? He's high maintenance?" he asks after taking a moment to pull himself away from visions of broken bones and carnage, confused because Hijikata's never been the materialistic sort nor is he shallow either.

"Exact opposite," Okita corrects with a shake of his head. "With Aneue--"

Immediately, the brat falls silent as old grief flashes in his eyes. Fleeting to the naked eye but Gintoki understands grief all too well so he respectfully stays quiet and gives Okita the time he needs to collect himself.

It’s minute but despite the usual bored look in his eyes, Okita lets out a breath and sits with an attentiveness that he reserves only for the late Mitsuba. "With Aneue, she was the one who had to tell the bastard how she felt to finally get the point across."

"But Mitsuba-san was..." he trails off since it’s a well known fact that Okita Mitsuba loved and adored Hijikata for himself and nothing else.

Okita nods. "In Aneue's case, Hijikata-san felt it was too good to be true-- which I wholeheartedly agreed."

"Past tense?" 

Okita shrugs, sheepish almost and lacking any sort of resentment against the Vice-chief for something that's long since forgiven.

"And me?" he questions, an inkling already forming at the back of his mind.

"You and I both know that Hijikata-san would've made you commit seppuku if he thought you only see him as a sex toy." Slipping a piece of bubblegum into his mouth, Okita chews in thought. "Besides, the bastard's a romantic at heart. A friends with benefits arrangement isn't something he's fond of nor that it's something he'd ever want either."

"In other words..." he begins, closing his eyes in heartache when his mind conjures up the most obvious answer but needing to be sure just in case.

"In other words, Hijikata-san isn't afraid of getting hurt." Okita gives him a meaningful glance. "He's afraid of being a burden or a disappointment to you, Danna."

With a sigh, Gintoki leans his head back to stare up at the wide expanse of the winter skies. It crossed his mind a few times every time he caught Hijikata holding himself back. Initially, he thought the bastard was distancing himself just in case they might want to make a clean break and maybe in some ways he is, but it’s not because Hijikata’s afraid to commit. Now that Okita pointed it out, Gintoki should’ve known that would never be the case.

This is Hijikata Toushirou after all. The dumbass practically has stupidly loyal and devoted written down into his very soul. And with that confirmation, Gintoki has to fight the familiar urge to both punch and kiss the idiot stupid. 

"Why are you telling me this?" he questions the silent captain with a suspicious eye.

Okita smiles, a perfect image of innocence. "Invested interest."

"Okita-kun," he intones, a sliver of his ‘Dadtoki’ voice bleeding out.

With a shrug, Okita drops the innocent act. "Aneue would want the people she loved to be happy and since you're the only one she ever approved of..."

"So you're helping me," he finishes, unconvinced.

"Yes."

"Uh-huh." Like he’d ever believe that Okita would ever do something out of the kindness of his heart. "I wasn't born yesterday, Souichirou-kun. What's the catch?"

"It's Sougo." For a brief moment, he sees Okita hesitating and it amazes him on how it makes him look every bit of the 22 year old he really is. It’s gone as quickly as it came though. "And it's not a what. It's a who."

Gintoki sighs with a roll of his eyes. "Fine. Who, then?"

"China."

There’s a moment of white noise before his brain finally decides to catch up and he’s almost caught by surprise at how vehement he sounds as Gintoki snarls out. 

"Fuckin' hell **_no_ ** _."_

A glimpse of surprise and disappointment before Okita nods, standing up from his seat. "Then I guess you don't need my help--"

"Wait." As desperate as he is, the only reason Gintoki reached out for Okita’s elbow is that brief glimpse of genuine disappointment. "Kagura may be a snotty glutton of a kid but she's _my_ kid."

Honestly, if it’s anyone else, he’d send the bastard straight to hell without a thought. But, he knows _this_ brat and as much as it pains him, Gintoki knows that there’s no better match for his snotty ward than the Prince of Sadists.

Gintoki slowly stands, grip tightening in warning as he unleashes his demon to get his point across. "So unless I'm absolutely fuckin' positively _sure_ that you'd only want her for her and for who she is--"

"I do," Okita cuts in, resolute and even if this brat won’t ever be afraid of him, Gintoki knows him well enough that Okita respects him to not take any warnings from him lightly. "I swear upon my sister's name."

Gintoki gives Okita a long, weighing look before he reluctantly reigns his demon back in. Well, if there’s one thing he can trust when it comes to Okita, is his unwavering love for his sister.

Around them, the people of Edo breathe out a sigh of relief at the close call from having the Shiroyasha rampaging on the streets.

"Help me first,” Gintoki states, voice breaking no argument as his mind whirls with the beginnings of a plan. _“Then,_ we'll talk."

Okita smirks, offering him a hand which Gintoki takes in a firm if punishing grip after a cautious moment of staring at the appendage. 

"Deal."

Desperate times call for desperate measures after all.


	2. Mayora

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like, come scream at me on [Tumblr](https://writing-in-sin.tumblr.com) or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Writing_in_SIN)

* * *

Patrols on the holidays are always something that promise to be long and tiring. Boring mostly.

However...after going through an intergalactic war, fighting against a nihilistic immortal _twice_ and finally getting rid of the Tendoushuu and the Seibouist, Toushirou admits that he prefers boring. At least until something else comes up. Until then, he's just content to do his job in this new era of peace.

Nodding at his subordinates as they go on about their duties, Toushirou slides into the passenger seat of the patrol car for the day. Settling back against his seat, he watches as the streets of Edo pass him by and idly notes the festive lights and other decorations lining almost on every street and building for Christmas tomorrow. Usually, he'd be exasperated in seeing people going overboard with the festivities but even Toushirou can admit that after all the chaotic and busy years they've all had recently, some celebration and good cheer are a welcome change of pace.

The ride out is quiet for about fifteen minutes before Toushirou notices that they missed their assigned route and are steadily heading towards one of the roads that will lead them out of Edo.

"What the hell?" Frowning, he turns to his subordinate. "Oi, you took the wrong turn—"

His words are cut off however when a familiar head of silver curls is revealed under a driver's hat.

"Why hello there, Oogushi-kun," Sakata Gintoki singsongs around that aggravating smug grin, tipping that stupid hat to him. "Fancy seeing you here this fine morning."

"Yorozuya?" Mouth agape, he points an accusing finger at the frustrating dumbass. "What the hell are _you_ doin' here!? And where are you takin' us!?"

"Y'know, I was beginning to worry about your lack of stranger danger there," Yorozuya comments blithely, ignoring his questions with practiced ease. Goddamn this bastard. "I mean, you didn't even twitch the moment you got into the car with me. Has the new era made you sloppy, Hijikata-kun?"

A vein pops on his forehead before Toushirou unsheathes his sword to rest against a pale throat.

"I can slit your throat right here and now, _then_ we'll see who's sloppy." Unsurprisingly, his threat is met with a nonchalant smirk and dead fish eyes. "And stranger? All I see is a permheaded _dumbass."_

Honestly, he'd be worried about his lack of awareness too if it weren't for the glaring fact that it's Sakata Gintoki he's with. For better or for worse, Toushirou knows without a doubt that he'll always be safe when he's with the silver haired samurai.

There's a flicker of fondness on the bastard's face before it sets into an annoyed scowl. "Leave my hair outta this, mayo-breath!"

"Better than bein' a sugarfreak!"

"Like hell it is!" Gin...no, Yorozuya shouts back, dodging a sharp swipe from his sword with ease despite the confined space. "And watch where you're swinging that thing, dumbass! We'll get run over!"

He's so tempted to just stab the idiot through the driver's seat and be done with it but after years of knowing this contradicting dumbass, Toushirou is well aware that Yorozuya will only go out of his way for something because he has a reason to.

So with a sigh, he slides Muramasha back into its scabbard and settles back into his seat.

"Where are you taking us, Yorozuya?" he asks with a grumble, wearily rubbing a hand to his forehead to stave off a headache. "I've got a lot of work to do because of the holidays, y'know."

Yorozuya waves away his concern with a careless hand. "Okita-kun's got that handled."

"Sougo?" he chokes out, gaping at the permed samurai like he's finally lost it. Toushirou won't be surprised if that's the case considering who Yorozuya's two foster brothers are. "Are you outta your sugar filled mind!? Now I _really_ wanna get outta this car!"

Yorozuya merely snickers, a sadistic glint in his eyes and Toushirou despairs at his luck. Seriously, out of the people in the world - in the whole damn _universe!_ \- why is he in love with this sadistic sugarfreak?

Fuck it. Maybe _he's_ the one who's actually gone crazy.

Shaking his head, Toushirou glances curiously at the bastard steering the car with one hand while the other is curled into a loose fist against his cheek. Unlike back in the Shinsengumi Crisis arc, Yorozuya's currently wearing the simpler version of the Shinsengumi uniform for his ruse and while he loathes to admit it, Yorozuya looks far better in the more formal uniform specially for the higher ranks rather than the one he's wearing now. Still, there really _is_ some truth about the irresistible charm of seeing someone you're in love with in uniform.

Wait, no— _focus!_

There's a reason why he's basically abducted and whisked out of Edo. Trying to deduce it though brings him to the only conclusion he can think of considering Yorozuya's recent odd propositioning behaviour and Toushirou lets out a sigh as he slaps his forehead in exasperation.

"Are you really _that_ horny?" he muses aloud, giving Yorozuya a judgemental stare.

Head dropping from his fist in surprise, Yorozuya then throws his head back with a long-suffering groan.

"It ain't about sex, ya _idiot._ " Before he can rebuff that claim, Yorozuya raises a hand and sends him a sharp glance. "You told me that I've been acting weird, right?"

Confused, he slowly nods his head. "Weirder than normal, yeah."

"That's because I've been tryin' to tell you something _very_ _important_ and you keep on misunderstanding," Yorozuya mutters with a petulant scowl.

His brow furrow at that. "Something very important…?"

Trying to think of the reason behind Yorozuya's odd behaviour isn't exactly easy but the only thing he can think of, is that maybe the bastard's been trying to butter him up with all those over the top gestures so that Yorozuya can gently let him down. Trying his best to ignore the sharp pang in his chest, Toushirou tries to think logically about this. In retrospect, it's not surprising especially if Gin— Yorozuya found someone who can better love him (what with almost half of Edo already in love with the jackass). And really, it's nothing short of a seven Dragonball miracle that they even got this far.

Honestly, he's grateful that he even had a chance to be with Gin— Yorozuya for as long as they did, more so since he was content to just love the asshole from afar. It'd been what Toushirou preferred after all, since he never wants these feelings as shackles for the permhead. He only deserved so much after all, moreso since his feelings might only be a burden to the other samurai.

To continue to love this idiot sugarfreak, even from afar, is more than enough.

So with a deep breath, Toushirou braces himself. "If you wanna break things off—"

_"Fuck_ _**no!** _ _"_

The sheer vehemence of Yorozuya's refusal startles him and Toushirou jumps in his seat, staring wide-eyed at the desperate looking samurai. He's not a stranger in seeing the more intense emotions from the usually bored dead-fish eyes but it's rare to have those hypnotising red eyes look at him in sheer desperate plea, as if Yorozuya's afraid that he'll disappear.

Noticing his shock, Yorozuya forces himself to relax and Toushirou duly notes that he'll need to have one of the men replace the steering wheel when they get back because the thing's practically scrap metal now from the force of the sugarfreak's above average strength.

 _"No,_ okay?" Yorozuya reintrates before unease twists handsome features as red eyes glance at him in trepidation. "Unless _you_ want to...?"

"Absolutely _not!"_ Blushing bright red at his immediate refusal, Toushirou waves his hands about. "I mean...!"

Instead of teasing him like Toushirou expected, Yorozuya merely smiles one of his genuine smiles and like always, Toushirou feels his breath stuttering right out of him at how beautiful such a gesture is— never thought he'd be one of the people fortunate enough to have Yorozuya smile at him in such a way.

"Good."

Reaching over, Yoro...Gintoki gently tucks a stray strand of hair that came loose from his ponytail and Toushirou can do nothing but watch as the smile on Gintoki's lips reach his bright red eyes.

Biting his lip, Toushirou has to hold back an embarrassing yelp when Gintoki suddenly kisses his cheek before grabbing his hand to rest on top of the arm rest between them.

"Now, just sit back and enjoy the ride, Oogushi-kun."

Scoffing, he turns away to stare out at the window and tries to will his blush away to no avail.

"The hell you callin' Oogushi-kun," he grumbles, tightening his hold on the bastard's hand and feels his chest warming when he sees Gintoki's smile widening from the window's reflection.

Time ticks by as Toushirou watches the bustling civilization disappears into endless foliage, driving on the old beaten roads and into an old mountain pass.

Once they hit the two hour mark, they finally seem to reach their destination and he looks on in confusion when Gintoki stops on the side of the road leading to a wide open field surrounded by rice paddies. It's a nostalgic sight for a farm boy like him as Toushirou steps out of the car to glance around the area.

There's not a soul in sight nor any signs to tell him where exactly they are.

That fact doesn't seem to deter the perm though since Gintoki merely takes him by the hand to lead them further into the field. Toushirou can't really put his finger on it but something about the field makes him feel a bit out of sorts. As calming the field is, there's a haunting quality to it not unlike that of a graveyard.

Without warning, Gintoki stops in his tracks in front of a small boulder. There's a faraway look in those eyes that makes his chest ache and for some reason it reminds Toushirou of the time when they stood in front of the Shinsengumi gates.

It'd been the first time where Gintoki ever alluded about his painful past to him.

Worry settling heavily in his gut, Toushirou wonders if this is where Gintoki had been forced to execute the man that was basically his father in all but blood.

"...Are we lost?" he asks just to break whatever spell the field has on Gintoki.

Blinking back to himself, Gintoki turns to look at him and gives him a reassuring smile. "I used to be."

Confused at the odd answer, Toushirou waits patiently as Gintoki takes a deep breath then points to the boulder in front of them.

"This is where Shouyou-sensei found me."

Toushirou freezes in place, gaping like an idiot at the still smiling dumbass standing beside him.

"Here?" he pushes past his lips, pointing to the boulder. "On this spot?"

"Yep." Releasing his hand, Gintoki settles on top of the boulder with a sigh. "It's a place where not even Zura and Takasugi know about."

Not even his own foster brothers? But then, why would Gintoki…?

"Then this place is..." he trails off, gesturing helplessly at their surroundings— at the open field, at the rice paddies.

"A place where only me and Shouyou-sensei have ever been," Gintoki confirms, giving him a meaningful look. "Until you."

"I..."

Desperately, he tries to let the implication at being brought to the very place where it all began to sink into his brain. But it's difficult. Why would Gintoki trust _Toushirou_ of all people to bring him to such an untouchable place of his past? To a time that should've solely belonged to Gintoki and Yoshida Shouyou?

Unless…?

"Do you finally get it now, idiot?" Gintoki questions him, breaking Toushirou out of his confusing thoughts.

 _"You're_ the idiot, asshole!" he instinctively shoots back before biting his lip, wishing for a cigarette but isn't in a state of mind to reach for one. "I just..."

When he trails off, Gintoki gets to his feet to stand in front of him.

"Just?"

Letting out a frustrated sigh, Toushirou gives in and gestures with a finger between them. "I just don't wanna make assumptions, Yorozuya."

There's a dangerous flicker of hope threatening to bloom in his chest that Toushirou tries to control. He's learned time and again over the years that he should never ask for more than what he deserves.

Bastard child. Mistake. Demon-boy. Filth. Worthless. Ungrateful.

Swallowing down the memories, Toushirou wraps his arms around his midsection and bows his head.

"Fine." A hand tips his chin up, causing him to be eye-leveled with those indomitable eyes. "Then let me spell it out for ya so there's no more misunderstandings."

Gintoki steps into his personal space, foreheads pressed together. A hand rests at the back of his neck before the perm uses his other hand to thread his fingers through Toushirou's ponytail before bringing up a few strands to his lips in a kiss.

The look in those eyes is searing and threatens to light that flickering hope ablaze.

"I love you, Hijikata Toushirou." Firm, resolute, and determined to burn Toushirou alive. "I'm _in_ love with you."

"Yoro—!" he chokes, trying to pull back but the hand on his neck keeps him in place.

Gintoki moves to cradle his face with both hands, unrelenting. "I want your stupid face to be the first and last thing I see everyday. I wanna have meals with you; breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, snack—"

"Oi, how many snacktimes do ya need in a day, dumbass!?" he cuts in, fondly exasperated even with his panic mounting.

"I wanna see you with my kids, for us to spend time together like the family we've always been probably since the Yagyuu arc or something!" Gintoki continues with a wild look in his eyes, unconcerned. "I want us to sleep together, not only in the sexy way but in the domestic kind of way too!" Silver curls fly side to side as Gintoki begins to shake him. "You know what? Fuck it! I just want us to be two domestic idiots together. Period!"

Heart beating a mile a minute, Toushirou blushes as his mind conjures up all the things Gintoki's raving about and how much he wants and yearns for those things too. However, wouldn't wanting those things be asking too much? That it will be a burden for Gintoki?

But...Gintoki's saying that he wants all of that— _with him._

Does that mean, he's allowed to hope after all?

And as if he can read his thoughts, Gintoki knocks their heads together.

_Hard._

Cursing at the flare of pain, Toushirou's about to punch the bastard in retaliation, but Gintoki quickly grabs him by the lapels of his winter coat and drags him close until the perm's snarling right at his face.

"I want everything from you and I want to give you everything in return," Gintoki rumbles out. A statement, a promise, and a threat all rolled into one. It makes Toushirou fall impossibly deeper in love with this sugarfreak. "Got a problem with that, dumbass?"

Any and all doubts die a swift death in the face of that conviction. It's crude, soul searing, and uniquely right down to the bare essence of Sakata Gintoki that Toushirou can do nothing but accept it for the truth that it impossibly is.

Sakata Gintoki is in love with him, and Hijikata Toushirou is actually allowed to love the dumbass right _back._

"A problem?" he rasps out, voice shaking as Toushirou snaps his head up and lets his fist fly at the bastard's face. "Yeah, and he's staring right at me!"

Gintoki yelps, dodging as he rounds on the perm.

"Oi!" Gintoki backs away and swears as he has to duck again. "Hiji—"

"You're a perpetually broke, lazy, sadistic, permheaded sugarfreak of a dumbass!" Toushirou fumes as he presses on his attack.

Back against the boulder, Gintoki catches his fist this time and uses it to pull Toushirou in close against him like he never wants to let go— telling him without words that this is real and that this country bumpkin of a bastard child is allowed to hope for more and know that it won't be a burden.

"Most of all..." his free hand grips the front of Gintoki's stolen shirt, tears swimming in his eyes as Toushirou snarls out the thing that captivates him the most about this asshole. "You're Sakata Gintoki— the idiot with the most fucking gorgeous _soul_ I've ever known."

Eyes widening, Gintoki lets go of his hand to hold Toushirou by the hips. "Hijikata..."

"I love you." The words come out too fast, too hard, but in his defense, Toushirou never thought he'd be allowed to say them aloud for Gintoki to know. Forcing the lump down his throat, he gives Gintoki a helpless smile. "I'm so in love with you that it's driving me crazy!" Cheeks burning, Toushirou bows his head as his grip tightens. "I've told myself that what we have is enough— that you'd even wanna hold me at all is enough because I only deserve so much from you."

Fingers dig into his hip as a low growl rumbles against him. "Oi, the hell are ya—"

"No one's ever wanted me for me," he rasps out, resigned as memories of lust filled eyes follow him around no matter where he goes or how old he gets. "Not since Mitsuba."

Toushirou has never resented his so-called good looks, especially not when it's something he inherited from his late mother. While it gets tiring, more so when it's from conceited bureaucrats or nobles, Toushirou's relatively unconcerned and dismissive about the attention he gets since he's not one to seek out romance even if he _is_ secretly a romantic at heart. Eventually, when he rose in the ranks and gained his fearsome reputation (or even when they know that he's a mayora but that's their loss), those kinds of attention dwindled into the occasional annoyance. In the end, it's something he learns to ignore, both the good and bad attention. After all, his priority has always been his duty to the Shinsengumi first and foremost.

But then—

"And me." A hand tips his chin up, not a trace of the usual dead-fish eyes as Gintoki smiles at him. _"_ _ **I**_ want you, Hijikata."

Yeah, until _this_ bastard with a perm came into his life, teaching Toushirou that he can protect and hold onto more than his duty.

Back then, if Toushirou had any remaining doubts of his feelings for Gintoki, it had been cut down like that flimsy tape the moment Gintoki stood beside him as they opened the gates to the Shinsengumi compound.

"Why?" Ruffling his hair, Toushirou gestures to himself. "My soul is just as humble as the soil I used to toil when I was a brat. It doesn't illuminate like yours."

Gintoki scoffs, giving him a deadpanned look. "Like hell it doesn't."

"Hah?"

"Just as people can't see their own backs, the light of our souls ain't something we can see on our own," Gintoki lectures him in a tone annoyingly similar to his Ginpachi-sensei persona that makes a vein pop out against his forehead. But before he can kick the bastard for that, Gintoki turns serious, eyes fierce and leaving no room for doubt. "Your soul shines differently from mine but I swear to ya, it ain't any less than."

His ears burn at that. "Gintoki..."

"You said that mine's the most gorgeous soul you've ever known?" Grabbing his face with a hand, Gintoki squishes his cheeks together with a sneer. "Well news flash, ya tax thieving, workaholic, nicotine, v-banged mayora of a bastard."

Toushirou sputters, trying to tug the stupidly strong hand off of his face to no avail.

"For me," Gintoki whispers, arresting his attention again as the perm eases his grip and leans their foreheads together. "That's _your_ soul, Hijikata Toushirou."

A few stray tears fall from his eyes, leaving cool trails against his burning face. Winter winds nip at his cheeks but he ignores it in favour of the thoughts that are jumbling his head, one after another, and he has no control over any of them.

"You really mean that," he mumbles, and that might not have been the right thing to say, but it isn't the wrong thing, either, because Gintoki gives him an exasperated smile.

"Obviously," the other samurai mutters with a scoff, to which Toushirou responds by punching the idiot's too solid shoulder. Ow. Snickering at the scowl that's no doubt on his face, Gintoki takes his hand to bring it up to his mouth, kissing the knuckles. "So what do you say? What do _you_ want, Toushirou?"

Abruptly, he recalls all the things Gintoki said; about being two domestic idiots together. It'll be one hell of a life. Toushirou knows that with their histories and the lives they lead, domesticity isn't exactly a luxury they could have in the past. But now with the peace and freedom they've fought for and finally gained, the thought about a life where they can grow old together isn't an impossible thing anymore.

A simpler yet perpetually chaotic life in Edo, a promise of sleepy mornings, bickering fun and comforting nights.

"Us." It isn't as hard as it should've been, to say the words, feeling a sweet ache beneath his breastbone as Toushirou smiles at Gintoki through the blush and the snotty tears. "I want us— _forever."_

Red eyes widen in shock and that's when Toushirou realises the heavy implication of what forever is supposed to mean.

' _Oooiii~! That's asking for too much too soon, dumbass!'_ Toushirou scolds himself, worried that he might've ruined everything before they even have a chance to start.

But it seems like he's worried for nothing because the next thing Toushirou knows, he's literally swept off of his feet and into Gintoki's strong embrace.

"Forever it is!" Gintoki whoops as the idiot spins them around, forcing Toushirou to lock his legs around the perm's hips. "Hell yeah!"

"Dammit, Gintoki!" he curses his lover around a laugh, holding on tight lest he falls off.

Partly to stop himself from getting dizzy but mostly because he's allowed to, Toushirou dips down to kiss Gintoki on the lips.

It's a good kiss, a great kiss, a fucking spectacular kiss. It's Gintoki's mouth, warm and familiar against his lips, it's Gintoki's big hands holding him tight, it's Gintoki's curls between his fingers and Gintoki's body locked into his.

When they finally break apart, Toushirou faintly registers the trace of tears on Gintoki's face and he cups that stupid, handsome face in his hands, thumbs smoothing over the dimples that rarely ever appear unless Gintoki's truly happy. For a second he flashes back to their first meeting at Ikedaya; the moment he tried to cut the sugarfreak down on that corridor all those years ago.

They've come so very, very far.

Gintoki tips his head up to kiss him again and he returns it in equal fervour.

"Love ya, sugarfreak," he murmurs into Gintoki's mouth, and it almost sounds inadequate for such a huge, all-encompassing feeling.

Gintoki's grip tightens on his waist and grins against his lips. "Love ya too, mayora."

They spend the rest of the afternoon lounging on that boulder, trading stories of their childhood and histories of a time before they met in between bites of onigiri that Gintoki brought along for them to eat as some sort of picnic lunch. They trade barbs, bickering and complaining whenever they accidentally eat the wrong onigiri filling of either mayo or azuki beans. It's simple and it reminds him of all the times he and Gintoki share their meals together at their favourite eatery.

It's the beginnings of a life shared from now on.


	3. Sugarfreak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sexy time on Christmas Eve~!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, prediabetic_stick! 
> 
> Here's the NSFW part of your gift. Hope you'll like it :D

* * *

Gin-san here again!

So, after the big confession equal to a shoujo style Naruto talk-no-jutsu that left him with soul deep relief (goddamn, that was nerve wracking), they clean up their lunch and get back on the road to head on home to Edo. The skies are pretty much a hue of reds and oranges by the time they arrive on the outskirts of the city.

"I still can't believe you made a deal with Sougo," Hiji— Toushirou comments from the driver's seat, signature cigarette in his mouth as his lover gives him a side-eyed look. "Have you lost the last of your brain cells or something?"

Gintoki leans into his seat with a smirk, hands behind his head. "See, if I wasn't a fellow Sadist, I'd agree."

"It's _Sougo."_

"I was desperate, okay?" Scowling at the chainsmoker, Gintoki points accusingly at the bastard. "Ain't my fault that I'm in love with an _oblivious_ Mayora."

"Like being in love with a _sadistic_ Sugarfreak is any better," Toushirou snarks back, blushing adorably to his ears before focusing on the road in a clear attempt to change the subject. "Anyways! Sougo and Kagura, huh?"

Gintoki slaps his hands to his face, groaning in actual physical pain at the sheer idea of it. "Ugh, don't remind me!"

"She's 18 now, China can make her own decisions," Toushirou comments, not the least bit worried as he shrugs. "Plus, she's a Yato."

"She's Kagura!" Gintoki explodes out, slamming a hand to his chest to emphasise his point. "She's my snotty, gluttonous kid and the only time she's allowed to date is when she reaches 30, dammit!"

Looking unfairly calm, Toushirou gives him an amused smile. "You mean when she's around _our_ age?"

"Exactly!" Throwing up his hands in exasperation, Gintoki then settles back into his seat and scrapes a frustrated hand through his curls. "Why do our brats have to grow up so fast?"

"We can't stop kids from growing up," comes the reasonable reply before those feisty blues soften in affection at the thought of their kids. "What we _can_ do is make sure they won't suffer."

That brings him up short because that _is_ a good point. Neither of them have the best childhood and were forced to grow up too fast, too soon. And while Kagura didn't exactly have the easiest childhood either, they can at least make sure that whatever bullshit he and Toushirou had to go through to survive their bloodstained life won't be something Kagura or any other children have to experience.

They didn't gain their peace and freedom for nothing after all.

"We can do that now, huh?" he muses aloud, awed and grateful at the reminder.

Lips stretch into a small smile, Toushirou nods his head. "Yeah, we can."

Pain is a part of life, that's undeniable. But having the choice and opportunity to ensure the people they love won't suffer is a luxury Gintoki never thought he could have until now.

"I still don't like it though," he grumbles, looking out the window and sees they've arrived back into Edo.

It really is good to be home.

"Like I said, China's a Yato. If Sougo pisses her off, she can just tear him apart," Toushirou mutters darkly, scowling at the road. "It'll sure save us the trouble."

Gintoki smirks at that. "True."

Leaning against the cool window panel, Gintoki looks on at all the decorations lining the streets and people milling about in a last minute shopping for Christmas tomorrow. It's nice. After the whole traumatising yet epic overarching plot of the series, Gintoki's grateful that the usual crazy nonsensical peace is restored and this time, they don't have to worry about the corrupted Bakufu or Tendoushuu or Seiboust or Utsuro breathing down their necks.

When the crowds of people seem to multiply instead of thinning like he expected, Gintoki leans over the dashboard and glances around in confusion when he sees that they're currently driving through downtown.

"This isn't the way back to the Barracks," he comments, darting a curious glance at Toushirou. "Unless the roads changed while I was away."

"Gotta pick something up first," Toushirou replies in answer, which doesn't answer anything at all, oi.

Eventually, the mayora leads them to the shopping districts before parking at a nearby curb. Shutting off the engine, Toushirou gives him an expectant look and jerks his head outside.

"C'mon, lets go."

"Eh!? Can't I just stay here?" Incredulous, he points at the light snow fluttering down from the cloudy skies. "It's already starting to snow!"

Toushirou shrugs as he pulls the hood of his coat over his head before throwing the keys at him and steps out of the car. "Suit yourself but you're gonna regret it."

Gaping at the officer as he walks further away into the crowd, Gintoki weighs his options before letting out a sigh.

"Screw it."

Locking the car, he slides into his borrowed jacket and catches up to Toushirou easily enough. He jumps slightly though when a gloved hand tentatively holds onto his own in a loose hold. Startled, he glances to the side to find a blushing Toushirou turning his head away.

Fuckin' hell, this adorable tsundere.

"Aww," he coos with a teasing grin, Gintoki tightens his hold and watches in delight as that cute blush spreads even further down to Toushirou's neck. "You coulda just said that you wanted to hold Gin-san's hand~!"

Toushirou flushes harder until he's practically steaming, threading their fingers together. "Shut it, permhead."

They arrive in front of a modest shop flooded by a crowd and Gintoki watches curiously as Toushirou walks up to one of the clerks.

"Good evening." Ever proper, Toushirou bows his head to the woman and fishes out a ticket. "I placed an order under Hijikata?"

Taking the paper, the woman's eyes linger appreciatively on them for a beat before seeing their linked hands. Shaking her head, the clerk gives them a polite smile.

"Just a moment, please." Not a minute passes by before the clerk comes back bearing Toushirou's order. "Here you are! Have a Merry Christmas, lovebirds!"

"Thank you." Taking the offering, Toushirou dips his head in thanks and offers a polite smile.

Gintoki gives a slight wave as he chimes in. "And Happy Holidays to you too."

Walking away, they leave a starstruck clerk behind.

"Hohoho," he singsongs, snatching the plastic bags and takes a whiff of the mouthwatering scent of piping hot food. "Now, what do we have here?"

Toushirou rolls his eyes. "Our dinner, what's it look like?"

"As in Christmas dinner?" he demands, peeking into the bag to find a large bucket of fried chicken and strawberry Christmas shortcake. "Bullshit. Considering the holidays, ya need to reserve your order at least a month beforeha—"

Words catching up to him, his head snaps to the side and finds Toushirou tugging the hood further down his face in a futile attempt to hide the blush that's practically scorching the cute bastard's face.

_Oh._

Not only Toushirou went out his way to order a Christmas dinner for them but he did it weeks in advance. He takes a moment to let that sink in, feeling his own face flushing at the implications— at the mayora's obvious desire of wanting to spend Christmas Eve together.

"Well, now." With a smile that's threatening to split his face, Gintoki leans in close to whisper appreciatively into a blushing ear. "Aren't I loved?"

Toushirou glares at him under long lashes, that blush contrasting fetchingly against those feisty blues. "Got a problem with that?"

"Not at all, dear," he coos, kissing a cheek and gets a flustered jab to the ribs for his troubles.

Hand in hand, they take a different path back to the car. Under the light sleet and snow, they walk under the shifting hues of the night and the different colored illumination lights around them. It's quiet and comfortable. Romantic, even, if the influx of couples around them is any indication but Gintoki barely gives it a passing thought, content to just enjoy spending time with his lover on Christmas Eve.

When they return back to the car and into the warmth of the heater, Toushirou drives them out of the hustle and bustle of downtown, and towards a nearby cliff overlooking the shining city lights of Edo.

They enjoy their Christmas dinner in their seats, both in comfortable silence and their occasional bickering. As a rare occasion, he eats his fried chicken with mayonnaise to Toushirou's delight and finds himself cooing at his tsundere lover as Gintoki feeds him forkfuls of Christmas cake topped with azuki beans.

Once they've cleaned up, he spies some stray cream at the corner of Toushirou's lips. Leaning over, Gintoki licks the seam of Toushirou's mouth, groaning low when the officer nips at his bottom lip. When he pulls back, Gintoki watches with a heavy lidded gaze as Toushirou slides out of the driver's seat to shyly crawl onto his lap.

Resting his hands on Toushirou's hips, Gintoki smirks up at his lover. "Aren't we going back?"

"No." Arms twine around his neck, Toushirou leans in close with a mirroring smirk and flushed cheeks. "I don't wanna go back yet."

"Good." Gently tugging Toushirou's hair free from its ponytail, Gintoki drinks in the sight of long, wild hair as it cascades down to frame his beautiful lover's face. "Because I wasn't gonna let ya."

Then without prompting, their mouths collide.

Their kisses are just like who they are; familiarly passionate with an underlying ferocity within each press of lips and teeth. Gintoki works to pull Toushirou closer, grinning into the kiss when the bastard leans forward until their fronts and hips are flushed together and tilts his head for a better angle.

The kiss isn't like the ones in the afternoon, rapidly growing heated. His hand against Toushirou's neck, he bites that plush bottom lip and when Toushirou parts his lips in a gasp, Gintoki pushes the advantage, slipping his tongue inside Toushirou's mouth in a hot slide.

As per who they are, they end up trying to one-up each other, tongue and teeth involved, hands grabbing at skin. Toushirou incessantly tugs on his curls and swallows up the quiet growls he makes, while Gintoki's hands slide across Toushirou's body, feeling every muscle and dip, sharp canines digging into the supple flesh of the Toushirou's lower lip hard enough that the bastard whines.

Pulling back for a moment, Gintoki reaches for the lube in the glove compartment before settling back into his seat to seal their lips back together while simultaneously trying to work them out of their pants.

"Thought it wasn't about the sex," Toushirou pants into his mouth, voice teasing.

He smirks, kissing his way down Toushirou's neck. "It isn't. But I _did_ say that there ain't a time that I don't wanna fuck you silly."

"Then f-fuck me." Toushirou tilts his head to give him better access. "Or do you want me to do all the work and r-ride you instead, Shiroyasha-dono?"

With a growl, he yanks Toushirou's head back by the hair and relishes at the pained yelp. Tracing his lips up, Gintoki whispers darkly into the bastard's ear.

"Who says it ain't gonna be both, Oni-no-fukuchou?"

Swallowing the moan Toushirou lets out, they quickly and clumsily shed their clothes and toss them onto the backseat. His hands slide up to that slim waist to pull Toushirou closer, palms rubbing all the way up Toushirou's back from his waist to the top of his spine before he dips down to squeeze that delicious ass.

Toushirou shudders above him, breaking off the kiss and bites his lip to cut off the moan that almost slips out and fuck, that just won't do.

"Toushirou." He pulls back just enough until he can see the bastard's face. "Look at me."

When hazy eyes flutter open, he cups the bastard's face with both hands and brushes his lips across Toushirou's until the other samurai releases his bottom lip. It reminds Gintoki of his initial confusion on why Toushirou's been holding back every time they had sex but, now that he knows the reason, Gintoki's sure as hell ain't gonna leave stupid misconceptions to fester inside Toushirou's head anymore.

"It's not a burden," he states firmly, watching as blue eyes widen. "You'd never disappoint me, okay?"

There's stunned silence but after a long moment, Toushirou slowly nods his head before the slight tension lining his shoulders finally relaxes.

Good.

Satisfied, he kisses the corner of that pouty mouth. "Now, c'mon, tell me what you want."

Licking his lips, Toushirou stares at him for a beat longer as if he's trying to process the whole concept of 'wanting' and 'having'. It makes his chest ache, remembering what they talked about in the afternoon.

"You," comes the shy whisper from his lover and it should be a crime, to be this stupidly cute as Toushirou leans their foreheads together. "I just want _you,_ Gintoki."

"And you have me," he promises, grinning all the while. "I'm yours, bastard."

Toushirou blushes but doesn't look away. "I'm yours too, dumbass."

"Damn right, you are," he agrees with a wicked smirk before surging forward to stake his claim.

Gintoki leans in to trace his lips over Toushirou's collarbone, throat, and wets the dip where the officer's shoulder curves up to his neck before he bites it, sinking his teeth into the sensitive flesh and smirks when Toushirou trembles against him, long fingers tugging his curls. His cock twitches when Toushirou freely lets out a moan the moment Gintoki runs his tongue high up the side of his neck, before pulling his earlobe into his mouth and sucking on it.

Oh, this is gonna be so much _fun._

When his hands brush down Toushirou's bare chest, thumbs flicking over dusky nipples, the other samurai groans and tugs at his hair. "Want you now, permhead."

"Gotta prep you first, tax-thief," he snarks back. "Unless you want me to fuck you opened with just my cock?"

Toushirou ducks his head, blush creeping down his chest. "...I wouldn't mind."

Oooiii~! This tsundere's gonna _kill_ him one of these days.

"Next time," he mutters, lightheaded at the thought especially considering how big his dick is. "It's Christmas Eve and Gin-san's tryin' to be a gentleman here."

"Since when have you ever been a gentle—"

Words choking off when Gintoki grounds their cocks together, he pulls Toushirou flush against him until his lover can't stop himself from crying out.

"Jackass," Toushirou growls out, bracing his hands on Gintoki's shoulders and rolls up into him, pressing hard, and Gintoki hisses at the friction.

Quickly coating his fingers with the lube, Gintoki pushes one slick finger into Toushirou's tight hole, sliding it slowly inside him. Another quickly joins in and he swallows dryly when Toushirou's body clenches around his fingers. A hand suddenly grabs at his dick to slide against Toushirou's and Gintoki bites off a curse as Toushirou pumps their cocks together, precum spilling between them with each jerk.

Resting his free hand on the small of Toushirou's back, he guides his lover forward to rest against the dashboard and scissors Toushirou opened, growling in arousal as Toushirou spreads his legs wide to help him along as he slips in a third. When a high, breathy moan spills out of Toushirou's lips, he spreads his fingers wider so he can slide in the fourth, watching hungrily as Toushirou's hole swallows his fingers.

Gin-san's huge, okay? And he knows that Toushirou loves to be split open by him so, it's a win-win.

He begins to thrust, hard and fast, before pressing in deep and rubs inside. That's when Toushirou gets _loud._

After weeks of bitten off moans and muffled whimpers, hearing Toushirou really and truly letting himself go is fuckin' music to Gin-san's ears.

Gintoki presses hot, open-mouthed kisses all over Toushirou's upper body, covering his chest and shoulders with marks and Toushirou pays him back by filling the car with the sound of his moans, long and drawn out and filthy. He loves it. Toushirou writhes above him, panting, hips rocking to the rhythm of Gintoki's fingers before Gintoki stills him with his other hand and makes Toushirou take it.

"Gintoki," his lover rasps out, fingers biting into his shoulders and shaking. "Want you inside me, _now."_

His fingers dig into Toushirou's hips hard enough to leave bruises before reaching over to pour the lube over his straining cock. Surging up for a kiss, Gintoki pulls his hand out and swallows down the whimper pressed against his lips with a growl. Settling back onto his seat, Gintoki curls his fingers around the base of his cock and holds himself ready.

"Sit," he orders, voice low and dark.

Blue eyes blinks slowly, feisty even with lust clouding the irises as Toushirou sensually crawls back onto Gintoki's lap and rises up on his knees so he can position himself, lowering just enough to have the tip of Gintoki's cock teasing his fluttering entrance.

And then he pauses, holding Gintoki's gaze with a smirk, beautifully defiant.

Fuck, he loves this bastard.

Gintoki leans slowly forward, until his lips are nearly touching Toushirou's.

"Bastard," he growls, before grabbing Toushirou by the hips to force said bastard down onto his cock, and the sadist in him gleefully revels in the delicious _scream_ Toushirou lets out as he sinks all the way down onto him.

"Shit," Toushirou sobs out, hugging his back and pants shakily into his ear. "So fuckin' _huge."_

Velvet heat surrounds him and he moans when Toushirou's walls squeeze around him, air leaves his lungs in a rush. "You love it. Fuck."

"Yeah," his lover grudgingly admits in a whisper, aroused and bashful. And it's so stupidly adorable how Toushirou can still be this shy despite all the things they've done. "I do."

Gintoki plants his feet on the car floor, using his grip on Toushirou's waist to guide him back up. "Fuck—" he swears, looks down at where the head of his cock spreads Toushirou's hole, pretty and pink and stuffed full.

He closes his eyes, trying to control his breathing.

They've done this many times before but there's something about _this_ time that's just a little too surreal. They're not just fucking anymore. This is—

There's a brief dizzying sensation when his seat suddenly dips back until he's reclining on the leather. Gintoki blinks, somewhat confused before his brain finally catches up when Toushirou rolls his hips and he's spellbound as Toushirou tips his chin up with a finger.

"Eyes on me, Gintoki," his lover commands softly.

Gintoki looks up at Toushirou, cheeks flushed, chest heaving as he gasps for breath at the vision above him.

The world inside the car has taken a dream-like quality in the darkness of the night as snow continues to fall softly outside. In the distance, the lights of Edo flicker onto them at random intervals. It's comfortably warm from the car's heater, and the edges of their bodies have softened in the absence of light. The intimacy and vulnerability aren't lost on him, feeling like they're in their own private space tucked in the corner of the universe, surrounded by snow, trees and darkness.

And above him, haloed by the backdrop to all of that is Hijikata Toushirou— blue eyes warm with affection, long hair rumpled, face flushed with kiss bitten lips pulled up in a tender smile and so, so fucking finally _his._

_All his._

— yeah, this is what making love's like.

"Toushirou," he rasps around a chuckle, trembling fingers leaving bruises on Toushirou's thighs as if in worship. "I've only got eyes _for_ you."

"Good." Toushirou slides his hands up to Gintoki's chest and starts to fuck him into the leather seat, lips leaving marks on Gintoki's neck and shoulders. "Because I'm _never_ letting you go."

The way Toushirou moves his hips is _sinful,_ the moans spilling from his lips on every rise up and drop down like music to Gintoki's ears.

"Dumbass." He clutches onto those hips, thrusting up into that tight velvety heat. "That's _my_ line."

The whole car rocks on its wheels as he meets Toushirou thrust for thrust, slamming up into the scorching heat as his cock hits deep within his lover, making Toushirou toss his head and arch his back as he cries out for Gintoki over and over, his name mixed in among the breathless screams.

The erotic slap of their bodies meeting echoes in the small, cramped space of the car, the windows beginning to fog. Gintoki runs his hands along Toushirou's tapered waist to bodily guide him up and down his cock, breathy screams and broken curses tumbling from Toushirou's mouth. The pace is quick, but when Gintoki feels his core tightening with an impending orgasm and he slams into Toushirou, it becomes rough and brutal.

"Toshi—!" Gasping, he drinks in the sight of Toushirou writhing above him with wild abandon. "Fuckin' beautiful—"

Toushirou hiccups and whimpers when Gintoki rubs his prostate, his thighs quivering and his voice loud. A sob escapes his lover the moment Gintoki rises up to wrap an arm around his waist and tugs him, holding him still on his lap. Toushirou immediately holds onto him, nails leaving sharp trails down Gintoki's back as he arches against him, legs splayed on either side of Gintoki's thighs, as he thrusts into Toushirou balls deep.

"G-gin—!" Toushirou's voice is broken and hoarse, biting into his shoulder as he sobs out. "Shit, _please —_"

There's sweat beading on Gintoki's forehead, his mouth pressed into the crook of Toushirou's neck, biting into the skin and feels Toushirou shake, thrusts up into the tight clench of heat to prolong the waves of pleasure. When he hears the telltale ragged breathing, Gintoki pulls back enough until he's pinned by that feisty gaze before they crash against each other with lips, tongues and teeth.

They howl, like the demons they are.

White floods his vision and Gintoki can feel them come apart together, hips jerking unevenly and bouncing Toushirou out of rhythm as their orgasms rock through them. Warmth spills against his front at the same time as he fills Toushirou up to the brim with a snarl of his lover's name, darkly satisfied when he can feel some of his cum dripping out of the rim.

"Damn…"

Pliant and fucked out, Toushirou mewls into his mouth when Gintoki tiredly tips them back to collapse onto the seat. Their bodies damp in the aftermath.

His lips twitch into a lazy smirk when Toushirou weakly turns his head to rest against Gintoki's shoulder, shyly mouthing at his jaw. Careful to keep them joined, he turns his head to catch those pouty lips into a languid kiss and grins when Toushirou lets out a happy hum.

His mayora really loves to be kissed, huh?

When they pull back, Gintoki knocks their foreheads together with a smile. "Love ya, bastard."

"Love ya too, dumbass," Toushirou murmurs, hands cradling his face before sealing their lips back together with a smile that's only his to keep.

Best. Christmas Eve. Ever.


	4. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like, come scream at me on [Tumblr](https://writing-in-sin.tumblr.com) or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Writing_in_SIN)

* * *

Toushirou wakes up with the morning sunlight on his face and cradled safely within Gintoki's arms.

Rubbing the crust from his eyes, Toushirou lets out a yawn and shifts to reach down on the car floor for his phone before carefully tugging the shock blanket back up and settling against the warm body underneath him by the backseat.

Some time in their final round of Christmas s-sex, they'd made themselves comfortable at the back for more room. It's a tight fit for two grown men but they make do. Still, trying to move around without disturbing Gintoki from his sleep is a bit of a challenge since the dumbass can be a light sleeper. It's even more of a challenge when he feels the familiar sweet ache on the lower half of his body as well as the plug up in his ass.

...what?

As arousing as it is, it's not exactly comfortable to walk around with cum dripping down his thighs after an impromptu rendezvous where a bathroom isn't available to clean up. It's logical.

...

Okay, fine! He also likes being full of Gintoki's cum for as long as he can! Happy now?

...dammit.

Trying to ignore his embarrassing thoughts and his slightly bulging stomach, Toushirou distracts himself by checking his phone to make sure that Sougo didn't set fire to the Barracks or heaven forbid, put the city under military rule. When he sees no urgent messages about dictatorship or the second coming of Kira, Toushirou lets out a relieved sigh.

A hand reaches up to press the call button, startling him.

When he glances down, he finds sleepy red eyes gazing up at him. It's a normal sight for him by now but after yesterday, it feels more profound. He knows now that he gets to have this, that he's allowed to keep Gintoki with him— _forever._

Leaning down, Toushirou smiles when Gintoki meets him halfway. It's stupid, how even with stale morning breath lining their mouths, the kiss is just as sublime as any.

"Good morning, Hijikata-san," Sougo's tinny voice drawls out, starling him out of the kiss. "Are you in a ditch somewhere? What flowers would you like for your funeral?"

Right, the phone.

With a long-suffering sigh, Toushirou puts the phone on speaker. "Still alive, brat."

"And he's with me," Gintoki mumbles out, an arm around Toushirou's waist while the other is draped over his eyes.

"Danna," the brat greets, a note of unholy glee in his voice. Fuck, it's too early for this Double S combi shit. "I take it your plan worked?"

Gintoki smirks, peeking up at him with a smug glint in his dead-fish eyes. "What didja expect from the protagonist?"

He swiftly jabs his elbow into the dumbass's stomach for that, satisfied when Gintoki lets out a choked yelp.

"And our deal?" Sougo questions, unconcerned.

Immediately, the perm turns serious and Toushirou has to admire how that expression always highlights Gintoki's handsome features even more. "Before I give you my approval, I've got a condition."

"Yes?"

"I'll only be okay with this if _Kagura_ is. If she doesn't, and wants to tear off your balls? I'll help her." There's a hint of the demon in Gintoki's words, warning clear and never to be ignored. "We clear?"

Sougo falls silent on the other line before the brat lets out a sigh that for anyone else who doesn't know this brat for over a decade, wouldn't hear it for anything but for the relief that it is.

"Crystal."

He smiles, happy to know that Sougo's genuinely serious about Kagura.

"Also, keep in mind that goes the same for you too in regards to Hijikata-san, Danna." Gone is the earnest man that wants to do right by the woman he's sweet on, only to be replaced by the familiar sadistic brat he's unfortunate enough to call his surrogate brother. "He's the _tsundere angel_ of the Shinsengumi after all."

A vein pops against his forehead at that. "The hell did you just say, brat!?"

"Ah, ah!" the little shit drawls out, making whooshing noises. "I'm sorry, Hijikata-san, you're breaking up."

Toushirou grabs the phone with a growl. "We're on the phone, you little—!"

_Click._

Annoyed, he grumbles and snaps the phone closed. Tossing the device back onto the floor, Toushirou lies back down on top of his lover. Folding his hands on the perm's chest to rest his chin on, Toushirou peers down at Gintoki's face and smirks in amusement at the scowl twisting the sugarfreak's mouth.

Such an overprotective dad, this man.

He leans down, pecking that scowling mouth and hums against Gintoki's lips. "Ya sure about them?"

"Hell no," Gintoki grumbles, nipping at his bottom lip. "But you're right. Kagura's old enough to make her own decisions. Besides, Okita-kun still needs to go through both Umibouzu and Kamui."

He sighs appreciatively as strong hands slide up against his spine underneath the blanket. "And when that happens..."

"I'll be hiding out with you," the dumbass finishes shamelessly, combing a hand through Toushirou's hair with something like fascination in those indomitable eyes.

Huh...guess it really was a good decision to keep his hair long especially since it makes Gintoki happy for some reason.

"Dumbass." Rolling his eyes with a huff, Toushirou cradles Gintoki's face in his palms. "Knew you were gonna say that."

"Don't like?" Gintoki teases, eyes creasing with fond affection.

He leans close with a smirk. "Didn't say that."

Twin growls startle them apart and he shares a surprised glance with Gintoki before they burst out laughing.

"Breakfast," they intone together with mirroring grins.

After getting dressed, they stumble out of the car and into the cold, crisp air, stretching their stiff legs and walk to the front of the car.

It's sunrise on Christmas morning.

Colours spill like water paints across the landscape below them, shining against the snow as they stand on a small ledge overlooking the array of sprawling houses and skyscrapers, the Terminal a giant beacon offset by the soft brilliance of the December winter.

Gintoki sits on the car's hood while Toushirou settles comfortably between his lover's legs, leaning into the warm embrace, and they spend a few long moments just soaking up the warmth of the morning sunlight and enjoying the bliss of simply being together.

With a smile, he turns his head to nose against Gintoki's cheek. "Merry Christmas, Gintoki."

"Merry Christmas, Toushirou," Gintoki murmurs back, bridging the distance to seal their lips together.

For now, the rest of the world can wait.


End file.
